“Ek Baap Ke Do-Do Bete”

It’s becoming a habit now, writing under the influence.

A Holler to my dear subscribers, I owe you buggers for the encouragement.

Another Saturday goes by.

Topic of discussion today - Mahatma Gandhiji’s infamous line at time of the partition of India, or in other words, during the formation of Pakistan.

Statutory warning – Overly religious people who are very much involved in their “jaat”, I suggest you do not read ahead. No, I do not mean to offend anybody, for what it’s worth I’m a firm believer in equality, and when I meet/socialise with people, the whole “jaat” issue isn’t even a criteria, not even close.

If you still do get offended, your problem.

A brief history lesson.

India, our country, was called the ‘Golden Sparrow’. After the century under British rule, we were no less than a bird made during an origami lesson.

We achieved Independence on 15^th August, 1947, and three years later on 26^th January, 1950, the Government of India Act was passed. That day, we now call our Republic Day.

It didn’t come easy. The British tactic of “Divide and Rule” continues to bite us in the ass. The eventual outcome of which was the formation of Pakistan, an independent, Muslim country.

The ‘Father of our Nation’, oversaw the procedures, as the country was torn apart based on religion.

Subhash Chandra Bose, the one person to stand up and be a literal “pain-in-the-wrong places”, was said to have asked Gandhiji to set some conditions. Those conditions, could’ve prevented a lot that has happened in the recent years.

They were, one, do not let it happen, two, if it was to happen, then it was only fair to send all the Muslims to Pakistan and let the natives come back to India. As hurt as he was to see the country split, he did not see the reason why Muslims should stay in HINDUstan.

To which, came the reply, “ek baap ke do-do bête(two sons of the same father)”, and the decision to make it the people’s choice to live in whichever country they chose to do so.

The outcome?

When the railway lines were opened, cross-country for the people to travel to their desired country, after the first set of trains to Pakistan, the trains from Pakistan to India, were looted, men were slaughtered, women and daughters were raped and murdered. Why? No idea. Which caused further uproar, and retaliation started.

Since began, our conflict, and hasn’t been resolved yet.

Like every topic, this one has a kazillion ways of looking at it and it’s completely based on an individual’s perception of what is right and what is wrong.

Some say, “when we call our country HINDUstan, we do not understand how the other minorities come into the picture”, the more open-minded ones, stick with, “it’s not really that big of an issue, as long as everybody minds their business, and equality is a necessity in today’s society”.

The question being, would certain negative events have occurred in our country if the Gandhian Philosophy wasn’t being followed?

On a personal note, If somebody I slap out of anger, IF and when he does wake up, smile and lean over showing me his other cheek, I am going to slap him. I’m going to slap him till I have the energy and he doesn’t.

It’s almost retarded to expect him not to slap you, after your polite invitation.

With respect to my piece about terrorism, do you see what I was trying to say there?

Who wouldn’t come and attack us, we’re almost too inviting, and on top of it our Constitution is virtually suicidal.

A few days ago, I was randomly surfing the internet, when a chat-box buzzed me out of my trip.

“Dude, you have to write about this, Gandhian Philosophy is the root cause for everything, and will certainly bring on the downfall of our country”, said Arnab Ghosal, an Engineering student.

As I said, it’s difficult not being racist at times, as I also said, if a certain group of people invite me to point at them and laugh, I will.

On an extremely basic note, after every India-Pakistan match, if India loses, a certain group of people rejoice with fireworks, raising flags, running riot. “Yeh dekke dard hota hain yaar, jis des mein rehte ho, jisne tumhe paala hain, how can you do this?(it hurts my friend, the very country you are living in, the very country supporting you, you work against it)” says Prashant Gautham, a businessman.

On another extremely logical note, if Hindustan, was as it is named, would we/world still be threatened to attack a certain notorious country?

I say, not being racist et all, just being plain logical, that if Hindustan, was infact full of Hindus, the pure Aryan Race which we are known to be, the race which Hitler considered as second only to the Germans, by now for all the acts of unnecessary terror and violence, certain countries would’ve been declared enemy nations and nuked without thinking twice.

“Ek baap ke do-do bête” and “the lean your other cheek forward to be slapped”, first cost us a part of Kashmir, PoK, the whole of which now Pakistand rightfully demand as theirs, for which we’ve pretty much destroyed them on three different occasions of the frontlines. The same also cost us a part of Arunachal Pradesh which China now lays claim to.

Now, being very frank about it, we all know we have the superpower called U.S.A behind us, we also know that China hates that very fact and considers itself one, U.S.A will avoid coming up against China, China will support Pakistan and if it wasn’t for our colossal army and extremist thoughts of the military, time for India would have turned back a 100 years.

“Woh log maarke nikal jaayenge, humlog doosra gaal dikhaate reh jaayenge(they will pretty much demolish us, and we will be left showing the other cheek)”

What hurts me?

I can see it happening, almost everybody can see this happening, and there’s this feeling of utter disgust and helplessness. Pretty much like a particular dialogue in the Bollywood Movie “Singham”, “jo koi system ko badalne nikalta hain, system ghoomke uski bajaati hain”(whoever tries to change the system, gets &^%##$ by the system in return).

It hurts me to the point that I’ve started to think on these lines, I’ve always been the one for equality, eradication of this disease called “religion” and zero discrimination policies.

It hurts me, that I’m proved wrong with every single death of an innocent which is caused by mindless violence, by unnecessary bombings with the sole aim of taking as many lives as possible, by every politically biased decision the country takes, by every corrupt politician who has made the future of a country as opaque as a murky puddle of utter bullshit.

It befuddles me, the fact that the guilty are not punished, by the fact that our own constitution is used to work against us, by the fact that the constitution only comes into play when the officials want it to.

First, we had Kingdoms, ruled by Kings, Empires, ruled by Emperors, Now we have Countries... Yeah. Precisely.

It disgusts me, that I’m human. Sigh.

INDIA - A Developing Nation?- Part Uno - Educational Predicaments

When it comes to the overview of the holistic development of India, a certain phrase seems synonymous, “the same gift, re-wrapped in a more attractive wrapper”. We are the same ignorant people, part of a system run by the same kind, with the only difference being, the fact that now, we earn better.

“ An Indian father and son got into a heated debate which unfolded as follows –

Father- What is the sole most important thing India provides the world?

Son- Tech Support

**SMACK!** “

The above was a joke, published on a certain website. A joke, which almost seems surreal, Why? Because, that father, that son, me and you reading this, know for a fact, that it’s true.

It’s the year 1970, a farmer toils all day at field, and somewhere in his mind echoes “mera beta bada hoke engineer banega”, “mera beta daactur banega”.

Let’s time-travel to 2011, a big executive at an MNC works all day, with the EXACT same thought. Hence the reference to the gift-wrapper phrase.

India, as we already know, along with China, are the leading exporters in labour, labour of all kinds. Ranging from opening the country for various BPO’s to set up, to generate employment to sending executives to respective countries to work there, as we are the only breed of earthlings to readily work week-ends, for a much cheaper rate and way lesser benefits.

It’s a vicious cycle, from parents, to children to their children where the whole concept of “living your life to its fullest”, doesn’t even feature on the credits.

The cycle goes something like this,

You study, in most cases forced to, something you hate, put in 10-12 Hr days at the office doing something you hate, earn what seems to be a large sum with the ‘$’ sign, have a major epiphany when you have your first heart-attack about how you pretty much did nothing you ever wanted to or made you happy all your life and then die.

Why can’t Indian parents see their children as, football/basketball players, Artists, Photographers, Writers, Actors, Video Game Designer, doing something which makes THEIR life fulfilling without being frowned upon?

More so, the same Indians, who want to be safe, who want everybody around them safe, who complain about the Indian Political Scene and doubting the abilities of the India Armed Forces, here’s a question,

WHY do you NOT encourage YOUR child, to be a politician? or an Army man?

The relationship between a parent and a child, is one of a kind, and the strongest around. The protective and possessive nature’s justified, doubting that, or a parent’s love is not the aim of this piece.

Just, as the parents expect the child to understand, the child feels the same need too, even more at times.

Times change, encourage whatsoever the kid wants to do or become in his/her life. Stop trying to live the life you always wanted through your children, the feelings may not be mutual.

Try and be a guide, not a jail warden.

A Nation Of Examination

The Head of Scientific Advisory Council to the Prime Minister of India, C.N Rao had penned down a letter to the P.M, pointing out the faulty educational system of India comprising of multiple entrance examinations, autonomous Universities and their examinations.

His statement, “India does not have an education system, but an examination system” has really struck a chord with todays youth and has become quite “viral” on various social networking websites conducting “polls” and “questions” based on the same harvesting millions of “hits”.

Gautam Nair, a mechanical engineering student from a well known college in the city says, “The feeling is subjective, for high-scoring students will score high in any case, but these multiple entrance exams, give us mediocre students a chance to enter the market”. Whereas, Shantanu Shah, a class XII student, dreams of a world without examinations and with innovative ways of learning.

C.N Rao, in his letter, has put forth an idea based on the American system, ONE common entrance exam for all universities, like the SATs, which would be a major leap forward compared to the present system which is, chaotic, least to say. At the same time, it will also reduce the burden on the students by a great deal and make Education “fun again”, instead of making students fear it, and run away from it, and thats just the education aspect of it, its better not spoken about the quality of the teaching faculty in today's universities.

Statistically, the rate of student suicides is going up exponentially, with every year as children fail to “meet the standards” of their/their parents’ “Dream Institutions/ Universities” and are afraid to face the ones they love, let alone the world. Students give up years of their lives trying to get into these “high-end” institutions. Parental Pressure, makes things worse.

Yes, our Nation’s education system needs a makeover, and it needs one fast.

For which, we need to get back to basics, comprehend the real meaning of the word “education”. In the Oxford Dictionary, Education means “the act or process of acquiring knowledge”. Another states, “acquiring a skill/knowledge for the overall dynamic development of the individual”.

Nowhere, does it state, OUR nation’s interpretation of “education” which goes on the lines of “the act of enforcing 12 sets of examinations on a child, and decide his/her future FOR him/her on basis of ‘marks obtained’, which can be easily done by rote-learning everything in the reference books “. And also, “suppress any form of creativity and understanding” or “the act of creating low-cost, willing-to-work-weekends, drones for foreign companies”.

There are two kinds of people in the world, the street-smart and the book-smart, our youth needs to be the perfect mix of both, and not end up like the above mentioned “drones” who, are neither with no practical subject knowledge and lack of remotely ANY social life.

Hence, the “low-cost” and “willing-to-work-weekends”, our education system, in simpler terms, churns out donkeys for the richer countries, who work weekends, for something they THINK is a lot of money and are taken advantage off.

Why? Because they are not equipped to be authoritative and command for what their work deserves, the “$” sign before the three to four digits is what they work for.

Seriously, Its time to Turn the Page.

INDIA – The New Generation, Degeneration?

“ 2^nd graders, caught having oral sex in class” “Under-age driver mows down 5 huts, killing 3”, SUCH are the headlines the newspaper spits at my face every single morning making me wonder, what in the holy HELL went wrong in the making of the current generation.

It was the year 2009, the year I turned 18 and with it came the first ever new-year’s party I was “allowed” to attend. What surprised me in that party? The majority of the crowd there, were my juniors in the 8^th – 9^th grade from school, doing everything there was to do.

When did you get your 1^st cell-phone?

After 10^th grade, because you earned it by getting good marks?

In the 11^th grade, because your parents could keep in touch with you, when you bust your ass travelling miles to college?

Just yesterday, there I was standing at the Vodafone showroom to pay my bill, a school-girl clad in the rather dull shade of the usual school uniforms, walks in, flips open her Xperia X10, n starts typing away to glory and there I was, wanting to slaughter her for I bet, she didn’t know a THIRD of the functions capable with such a beautiful phone, yet she had one.

Through and through the grapevine, I came to hear about some little dude who got a new PS3 because he threatened his parents to run away from home.

In my time, if I threatened to leave home, the typical reply from my Dad would’ve been “hahaha, go.” Where does that leave me?

How can we forget about the two most profitable small-time businesses in India right now?

MONEY RACKET No.1

Yes, I am referring to the BIGGEST farce ever possible and I give complete credit to whoever had this idea, The Hookah Parlours. They have actually managed to make kids believe that, adding sad fruit flavours to the “chillams” makes it “safe”. According to the studies, ONE hour of Hookah is equivalent to smoking 50+ cigarettes.

Prime Targets – 7^th – 12^th graders, who sit for a minimum of 3 hours at a stretch, with each Hookah costing around Rs.350.

MONEY RACKET No.2

Pool/Snooker Parlours, they are the “in” thing. You can visit these places just to see, our future generation shamelessly blowing their parent’s money at the rate of Rs.1000 per game, minimum.

The more intelligent entrepreneur, has combined MONEY RACKET 1 and MONEY RACKET 2, and given birth to MONEY RACKET No.3. It basically being both the “RACKETS” put together. Welcomed by the “cool dudes and dudettes” the “new and improved” Hookah + Snooker/Pool Parlours.

It’s surreal, to see our nation’s future, spending money, as if their parents shit currency notes everyday, and slowly get enslaved to the tobacco and nicotine burning their lungs, day-in and day-out as they shoot balls.

Which makes me ultimately wonder, if the actual process of de-generation has begun.

No, I am In NO way complaining. I love my life, I love my parents. It’s just the fact that, today’s kids do not understand the value of things they already have, let alone the things given to them.

So, What now?

Parents need to take over what is theirs. Rules, morals and control should be brought back. You need to be liberal, agreed, doesn’t mean that you let your kids off your control.

A message to all the Youngsters, No, I do not have anything against you guys, I got better things to do. You’re free to fuck yourself, you’re doing a great job anyway.

Cheers.

Inside Man – The War Within

India is a country of great diversity, being home to numerous religions, and with them the sometimes ridiculous beliefs and rituals. In the midst of all the mixture and chaos, our nation still manages to run itself, perfectly, but that’s a whole different issue.

Me, personally, I do not believe in any of the above. I believe things I can see and touch and I refuse to believe that there is an invisible human being who keeps account of my every action, who will assign me heaven if I worship him, or I would burn in the fiery fires of hell for all of eternity, and yeah, apparently he loves us.

That being said, one evening, after one of our drinking/smoking sessions, a very good friend of mine(a god-fearing guy) and me decided to go to our club, to chill. The conversation, which we had that day, barring the fact that we were drunk and stoned to oblivion, was possibly one of the best I’ve had.

No, I didn’t become a “believer”, but what that conversation did, was to open our heads to a completely new perspective to look things as we both brought completely different ideas to the table.

The new perspective, is what I’m going to share with you now.

The topic of our conversation, somehow reached the two major Mythological “stories” – The Ramayana and The Mahabharatha, which again, cannot be proven chronologically, yet the flats of Kurukshetra are considered to be land the “holy war” was fought upon.

Again, discarding the “Godly-human” perspective of these great tales, I managed to see through to the scientific side of these books (credit the drunk bugger spazzing out on the pool-chair beside mine), The Ramayana talks about the tale of Rama and Ravana, Whereas, The Mahabharatha talks about the Pandavas and Kauravas, the tale of “victory of the good” and the war between two sets of brothers born to the same father, respectively.

Both, have a common thread, the same every sad Bollywood movie does, A Hero and a Villian, his minions and a woman. Doesn’t the latter part bear a resemblance to the everyday happenings in your life? Isn’t there a good side and a bad side, within you, which are constantly at war? So were these books written, with a hidden meaning, a secret to life, with characters to make it interesting? I’d never know. Think about it.

We, somehow, hit the subjects of the Vedas, The Bhagwat-Gita and The Upanishads. For the lesser-read, The Vedas, are the “holy scriptures”, pretty much like your bible, the kuran, etc etc. The Vedas are split into 4 different books – The Rig Veda, The Yajur Veda, The Sama Veda and The Atharva Veda. These were written, scores of years ago, by scholars and monks, having read them, they’re as scientific as your average science textbook. It’s just the matter of looking at it the right way. The Bhagwat-Gita, doesn’t need any introduction, and The Upanishads are basically as set of stories, in forms of hymns or prose, which explain the way of life.

What struck me about the above? None of them, forced or made it mandatory in any way to accept “God” or any kind of idol worship. Surprisingly, even they speak about the energy within. Which makes you, me and everybody around, god. Given, that they state the right way to live, and the correct values, according to them, But they have nowhere, asked anybody to follow them. It’s pretty much like guidelines, to who-ever wants to follow.

By the end of it, We both realised, that his version of being “god-fearing” also respects science, probably the reason why his points made sense, unlike the bigoted assholes who can’t think straight, who think its their birth-right to convert you to their religion and blame every doing on “god”.

So yeah, Bottom-line?

I Am God, You are God, Everybody is god.

I don’t mind the concept of “god”, I mean, to each his own, But it’s his fan-following that fucks my brain.

Cheers.

INDIA- An Outsider’s Affinity

Yes, This is my first official entry in the blog.

Yes, I AM that lazy.

Bite Me.

Anywho,

It was just day before yesterday, when my friend came over to

meet me, in a weirdly grumpy mood. After not-so-much deliberation, she went on to tell me that a bunch of “firangs” had come to her college, gave a presentation on “Dharavi”, the biggest slum in Asia, concentrating on all the usual topics these documentaries are known to cover, POVERTY, Lack of EDUCATION and Corruption/POLITICS.

Well, that’s not so new is it? Has any ONE of you wondered as to why ALL foreigners relate INDIA to the word POVERTY? Why doesn’t anybody make long-ass documentaries on the MILLIONS of malls, commercial centres and the massive upcoming of the private sector?

Our nation, my brothers and their sisters, is a money-pit. Investors from ALL over, are dumping money into our markets, our companies, hell, even the top officials in THEIR own companies are Indians.

So, Why the affinity to our SLUMS?

There can be many theories, depending on the perspective. But hey, My blog, My view. Feel free to leave yours in the comments section.

Coming back, Is the above mentioned “affinity” because it makes THEM feel better about themselves? Is it a matter of Superiority? Or maybe it takes the heat off their own issues.

That, was the problem. “Now What?” you may ask.

The next time these “firangs” walk up to you, and ask you the directions for Dharavi, or dhobi-ghaat, direct them to the nearest Commercial Centre and show them the INDIA, we all have come to know, or very genuinely sit them down and ask them as to exactly WHAT about Daharaavi draws them to it.

The REAL India, is NOT the poverty, politics, unemployment and the feeling of utter chaos, not anymore anyway.

What represents the REAL India Now?

The Real India, for me, is us, The Educated and the very much aware youth, The REAL India is, TATA buying over JAGUAR, as if it was loose-change, VENKY’s Poultry buying the English Premier League team, Blackburn Rovers, The Real India, is the new-age cinema, viz Dev-D, Rang De Basanti, Yeh Saali Zindagi, Being Cyrus, etc being churned out by the same industry which was known to produce movies which included people dancing around trees to sad music, The Real India is the “new & improved” mind-sets of people.

I can keep going.

We are far from the “Third-world country” tag, and we’ve worked for it, the credit for which NOBODY, and I repeat NOBODY, can ever take away from us. We didn’t have things handed over to us in a silver spoon, unlike some.

So, a message to all the “Outsiders” , who might be reading this, Please Ask your people to find some other pastime, or take professional help, if they are not happy with themselves. We’d love you guys to visit, of course we do, who doesn’t like meeting new people?

What we do ask from you, is to remember two fundamentals,

Respect, is a give and take commodity, and

Clear the chinks in your own armour, before you go ahead "advising" others on theirs.

We have advanced, seems like you'll haven't.

Come over, have the local brew, party, enjoy the crowd, mind your own business.

Do not disrespect, in the name of help. We are more than capable of taking care of ourselves.

Take a hint from your own, trademark line "They come to our country and take our jobs".We wouldn't have, had you not been so daft.

Cheers.